April 12, 2015

One of the difficult part of adjusting to the cochlear implant, is being AWARE of the process or changes.

Alhumdillah I can hear now but what am I hearing?
Subconsciously, my brain is picking up all the sounds but how can I identify the new sounds? 
How can I distinguish between sounds I’m familiar with growing up, no matter how limited they may be, with new sounds from the cochlear implant?

To be still and concentrate on all the sounds coming in and to unpack them, and even pinpoint where they came from, is too tiring and sometimes too much; physically and mentally.

Even my speech has improved a bit. For instance, the second day my family noticed I can now say the “s” words clearly. Subconsciously, because now I can hear the “s” sounds with the cochlear implant, my speech adjusted and I can now say words like “snakes” and “subanhallah” smoothly.

But if I was to force it out, to have awareness of what sounds I’ve improved and what needs to be improved, I can’t. It’s difficult and really stressful.

Further, I already accepted I had a little speech impairment due to my hearing loss. But now because it’s changing, improving, it unsettles me.

Change is good, but adjusting is harder.

It doesn’t help when my uni classmates are a little concerned with my speech for a uni presentation.

But no pain, no gain right?